If he is touching you in inappropriate places like your boobs, your private parts, kissing you passionately on your lips as well as touching your stomach and neck in an unnatural manner then it's definitely sexual abuse and you should report this to someone who trust or a police officer. I kinda felt I'd gone too far, that last week of summer. yes, i do feel the same. we were always suppose to think of society and the drama that will come after that so i always kept quiet. I'm feeling kinda weird, like not sad, angry, etc. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. Now my mom, 91 with dementia, wants me to hold her hand and kiss her and touch her. So that rage wasnt born in that moment, Im thinking. I don't think he had a crush on me but i think it was his way to show kindness to me. keeping that aside. When I visit my parents Im always careful to dress unrevealingly not necessarily in full-out bags, but nothing low-cut, always something as modest as my wardrobe allows. Practice Improves the Potential for Future Plasticity, Explaining to Your Adolescent About Stress of Growing Older, Parenting Adolescents and Encouraging the Will to Work. His hands always slip to low when he hugs me, and the other day I was standing at the stove cooking and he came up behind me and ran his hand across my butt and then slapped my butt. It depend on which part does he touch you.i mean like we cant just say it is while we dont know how he touches you. Salon.com, Which is better grape seed extract or resveratrol, Where to buy roundup ready sugar beet seed. Earlier he ran his hand round my waist and I froze, I could feel his touch . Your thoughts about the inappropriate request (e.g., prescribing opioids or back-dating a work . Feeling Intensely: The Wounds of Being "Too Much", 2 Simple, Powerful Ways to Cut Alcohol Consumption, A Better Understanding of SSRI Antidepressants, Recycling Isnt Virtuous; Its Making Things Worse, Character, Resilience, and Self-Esteem Go Hand in Hand, Strategies to Improve Intimate Relationships, Change Your Awareness to Achieve Your Goals, How to Enjoy Small Talk and Deepen Your Conversations, Depression and Anxiety Are on the Rise Globally, How Living Alone Increases the Risk of Depression, How to Cope with the Fear of a Loved One Dying, The Neurotic Loops at the Core of Many Mental Disorders, Inverse Relationship Between GPA and Innovative Orientation, "Frustrated?" But if he touches you on inappropriate places, it's a sexual abuse and you need to tell someone. No parent should touch their child in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. Here's an 8-Step Rescue Plan, A Simple Trick to Get Your Kid to Stop Whining, Why Blame-Shifting Is a Form of Verbal Abuse, 100 Questions to Ask Your Teen Other Than How Was School? I hope this helped! (We live in the same city.) Remind yourself that we live in a culture that provides no education nor tools to help us with emotions. Well consider asking yourself this: does it make you uncomfortable? The truth is, the reason why I felt uncomfortable was because I was already feeling inferior for not having a girlfriend. When you visit your parents, try to avoid situations in which your father has an opportunity to behave inappropriately. just kinda like trying to forget it, because i guess that's what i've done this whole time, i think the first time it happened was beginning of 2015 and last was 4 months ago maybe. Verbal contact that conveys caring is more important the less welcoming of physical contact the adolescent becomes. It's your feeling anyway so why think some feelings are more legit than others because they don't involve abad experience? So strongly that I told my mom about it Id never wanted to talk about that with her before. Asexuality usually lean towards physical affection and the feeling of being uncomfortable with touch from other people. being physically hypersensitive and finding it painful, overwhelming, repulsive or distracting, or too personal and invasive. In the process, they may elect to give up the expressing and the accepting of physical affection with parents (sometimes just the expressing, sometimes just the accepting, sometimes both) in order to show that they no longer want to be defined and treated as a child. Copyright 2023 7 Cups of Tea Co. All rights reserved. Got it. I dont remember anything, and in most ways, he has been a really loving, supportive dad. I never knew core emotions were actually a bunch of physical sensations that we come to recognize as an emotion. there were two more i cant find the picture to exactly.. but i know i was quiet. Using words to convey sensitivity, empathy, support, interest, attention, approval, and appreciation can all communicate the emotional warmth that physical affection so efficiently conveys. Its all a question of whether your father was able to respond to the emotional part of your relationship, and your emotions as his child,enough. Post about anything related to family! Not undoably, overwhelmingly so. Why do I feel so uneasy around my father? I wanted to punch him in the face, knock him out cold. by random7777 Fri Nov 23, 2018 9:05 pm. I first had this feeling when I was around 20. But I wouldnt let her talk to him about it the idea was too, I hate it when my dad touches me [non-sexual], Always wondered if my father abused me HealthBoards, Is it normal that i don't let my dad touch me isitnormal.com, Why do I feel so uneasy around my father? (2005). Uncomfortable when receiving physical affection from mom? Yes! If he touches you to show care and concern or when you're anxious or nervous, that's perfectly fine. A dedicated photographer from San Francisco, Hormel's life has brought him to many disparate places. And I love him. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. just knowing theres backup will be comforting, so yes please. Jennifer P. 6. Neurotic loops are at the core of anxiety and depressive conditions. You laugh or smile when you or someone else talks about sad things. Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. i was very young i didnt know how to feel. Do you feel uncomfortable by the ways your father touches you? Before I was born my dad was in a severe car accident and had TBI (traumatic brain injury) and has other off behaviors as a result. This is your dad you are talking about. by random7777 Fri Nov 23, 2018 7:00 am, Unread post PostedNovember 26, 2012 um my mum does emotionally abuse to a certain extent, just lack of empathy, and undergoes massive mood swings where she turns angry and swears and punches/threatens my dad, but has only ever sworn and hit me with a pillow, while my younger sister receives nothing. I can't even stand to peck him on the lips. when i was in the town there was another guy in my moms office who used to touch me in places and like always i never stopped him or cried. This is a "hot" topic with 2,980,000 searches/month. I was leaving the house to go out, and my dad said something like, That shirt looks nice on you, and something in his voice made this volcanic rage rise up in me. According to Wikipedia, "Sexual abuse, also referred to as molestation, is the undesired sexual behavior by one person upon another. You are reading: "Why do i feel uncomfortable when my dad touches me". Dear Readers, The following letter is long, but I think you will agree when you have read it that for all its length it does not lack economy; there is simply much to tell. yes also my other name is insensitive girl lol. But i didn't like it. It depends where he is touching you. Its no wonder most people are uncomfortable with emotions. To learn more about Childhood Emotional Neglect, you canvisit her website. Men have long been silent and stoic about their inner lives, but theres every reason for them to open up emotionallyand their partners are helping. | You change the subject when uncomfortable during a conversation. My body might disagree that I have no memory. This depends on where he touches you. but preferably would approach my family first. My father is having an extramarital affair. She shouldn't be uncomfortable in her own home. Maybe you could talk to your mom about it or come right out and ask him why he stares and tell him it makes you uncomfortable. Many incidents throughout the years like this have happened. by random7777 Sat Nov 17, 2018 3:41 pm, Unread post His hands always slip to low when he hugs me, and the other day I was standing at the stove cooking and he came up behind me and ran his hand across my butt and then slapped my butt. Asexuality usually lean towards physical affection and the feeling of being uncomfortable with touch from other people. Caressing a child's leg (even a child as young as 3) can make them feel uncomfortable and overstimulated, and they may feel much more comfortable with a hug, or kiss on the cheek. New research finds teen-aged brains are programmed to tune into new voices and put less emphasis on their parents' voices. Obse. by Sin Fri Nov 23, 2018 4:21 am, Unread post Patting your teenager on the back or giving them a side hug can often get through the painful wall of refusal that is keeping the teenager from the primal parental touch that they still miss. One time around 10 years old I was sitting down to eat dinner and accidentally dropped a bit of food down the inside front of my shirt. When children cry, have a tantrum, or act up and it can't be "fixed" right away, its easy for a parent to feel helpless. Not undoably, overwhelmingly so. Yeah, I want to hug my Dad, even though it's kind of weird because we're both awkward people, and we aren't as close anymore, but I have always hated it when my mother hugged me or touched my face in any way. Archived post. it depends on how your father is touching you. or it could really just be me overthinking. Just like you learned in high school biology about your heart, lungs, and stomach, you can learn about your emotions and benefit your health and relationships. Or go into therapy. Its free. he always carried me and took to to his house i screamed every single time. How to connect a person online with a therapist? But when we have too much inhibition, we cannot thrive. And Id be on to other things with bells on, let me tell you. Affectionate touches such as petting the head, hugging during special events (such as Father's Day, or just a normal family bonding holiday), and holding hands are totally normal. all of these involved them touching me but only the first one involved sexual assult. I feel bad for my dad. and im at a lost because it could mean that hes touching me inappropriately or he could just be showing fatherly affection. If it's usually around your chest or genital area,then that could be considered molestation and you need to tell someone you trust that this is happening. Answer (1 of 28): Because you feel you can't just be yourself. The capacity for intimacy is modeled by our families. But it really depends on how your dad touches you, if sexual; call help. and what would happen they would feel pity and shit and bla bla i will be cringed out. We weren't very physical at the time. I feel bad for my dad. Y'know. Also, after puberty, when the need for physical privacy is increased, the teenager often wants parental touch to be more circumspect so it is not, however unintended, experienced as sexually obtrusive. Maria Anisia Dascalescu Cocan, Marriage & Family Therapist, MA. But he might not feel comfortable letting you know his true feelings for you yet. Reply. Fortunately, there are many cases of teenagers, including young men, who keep the door to physical affection with parents open all through their growing up. Dear Cary, I dont know if I was sexually abused by my father. I can feel the pain as we sit here. If you do, say, That must have been so hard for you, or Did you feel very alone with that? or Where were your parents when that was happening? Strive to feel some empathy for the child your father once was. If your father is touching you in any kind of sexual way that is making you feel uncomfortable you should probably tells someone like a trusted adult. Understanding your feelings and processing them . This is harassment. Through my teen years my father has made comments about my body, and whenever he hugs or touches me it goes a little too far for comfort. Does he roughly do things to you? this is weird but writing this right now is making me cringed out. I dont feel safe alone in a car with him dont know why, but I go out of my way to avoid that when I can. Life as someone who's not a fan of physical contact is tough. i do feel weird if she hugs me but if i start it start like being touchy with . What's even worse is that we are given the impression that we can control our emotions when the fact is that emotions are not under conscious control. by random7777 Sun Nov 18, 2018 8:01 am, Unread post You're not alone; I'm right here with you. I am not a touchy feely person by nature (take after my dad) and it is compounded by the fact that my mom used to rub her hands up my inner thigh when I was a teenager, which made me feel violated. being touch repulsed is fine. We all have different views and opinions this is just a place to share the ones we have on family.
