Not just muppets Hamilton: ATM in the gym lobby is best machine to impress the women, Hamilton: Bud Light has always been trans its water that identifies as beer, Hamilton: I found nuclear launch codes in a fortune cookie, Hamilton: MSNBC crucifies Trump every morning, Fox raises him from the dead, Hamilton: The Founding Fathers would be on the FBI watch list today, Hamilton: Payoffs, hush money show Trump knows how to negotiate, Hamilton: Settling for Partly Cloudy Daniels, Hamilton: Alliance aligns with March Madness bracket picks, Hamilton: Not everybody can be Irish; somebody has to drive, Hamilton: Vodka mixes well with everything but decisions, Hamilton: Tax refund will pay for that dozen eggs, Hamilton: Money left in your bank account after taxes is an IRS red flag, Hamilton: Tinker Bell has new sister in latest movie, Hamilton: Life in prison is diminishing deterrent for the aging, Hamilton: This candidate gets you four presidents in one, Uncle Sams tall hat handy when its being passed around, Hamilton: Look how much I still owe to Ukraine, Hamilton: Prez shoots down balloon angioplasty idea out of habit. Be the first on your block to get the new Humor Times t-shirt!! Find Property for sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. Copyright Notice: This website is protected by U.S. and International copyright laws. It was reported Tuesday that Las Vegas hotels on the Strip were having a real cannabis problem. Thank you for supporting Argus and his column! Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations. Kim Jung Un was reported to be so angry, he stormed back to the palace, kicked his dog, and then ate it. Tiger Woods is favored to win the Masters for the first. Argus Hamilton's humor column, now in its second decade, appears five days a week on the Internet and in over 100 newspapers across the U.S. AAE Named to Inc. Best Workplaces in 2022. All the trans-genders in the Games have given little girls who want to grow up to achieve Olympic stardom a new motto to live by. Tweet with a location. Portage Daily Register; Reedsburg Times-Press; I would like to join the exclusive Laugh Factory Members Club. He is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including The San Francisco Chronicle and the Los Angeles Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey. It is available for print and websites through ExtremeInk.com. The Canadian Snowbird Association reported that the state of Arizona gets a million Canadian visitors every year during the winter. Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? Polls say it would end up being Biden then age 82 vs. Donald Trump then age 78. This year Bill Murray was in Florida telling cameras here we are at Tom Bradys retirement again. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. If he falls down the steps everyone will know hes running for president. Anheuser-Busch courted customer outrage and boycott by celebrating Transgender Rights Day by placing transgender woman activist Dylan Mulvaneys image on Bud Light beer cans Pope Francis hosts Good Friday services in Rome today for Roman Catholics worldwide. The Daily Mail says Google CEO Larry Page is on a private island in the Fijis until the virus ends. Hamilton: Latest object shot out of sky shaped like Corvette? Each month, get a new mug, shirt, sticker, etc. Prince William and Kate left her parents home Friday, sparking frenzy that the royal birth was Read more. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. You may have a drinking problem if you drink stuff that not only hits the spot, but also removes it. Yes, you can easily cancel or upgrade your pledge at any time. Missouris State Fair banned a rodeo clown for life who wore a Barack Obama mask while a bull Read more, A-Rod: Trying to enhance his chances of playing again The FDA discovered e-coli in ground beef that is distributed nationwide but it wont hurt the restaurant business. The Publicists Manual states that in order to stay in the news, you scream racism for three days and then you develop a cocaine problem and get arrested on Sunset Boulevard.ARGUS HAMILTON, GB, Albert departments battle two structure fires Monday, Council OKs resolutions for Zarah loft project, Local volunteers strive to include girls in youth soccer, Bernard (Barney) John Kruse 1952 - 2023. Celebrations; Food; Parenting; Health; . Britain reports the Delta variant's toll on Britons was much milder than expected as infection rates fell for the seventh day in a row. Editors have the option to run all the columns, some of the columns, edited versions of the columns, daily excerpts or a weekly compilation. We'll never post to Facebook without your permission We will access Facebook to get and use your email address, Meet the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." AAE is one of the premier celebrity booking agencies and top keynote speakers bureaus in the world. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Things even out. During the shutdown, the cable news showed a Buffalo man trudging his way through six feet of snow and clearing a path barehanded. The Los Angeles Times reports the second man to step foot on the moon, NASAs legendary Buzz Aldrin married a much younger woman on his 93rd birthday Saturday in a ceremony in Beverly Hills. Some of them wanted to exclude massage parlors, dog tracks and porn shops but didnt have the votes. Academy Awards producers are reported worried the ceremony will draw low ratings due to stars using the stage as a political platform in the past. Submit your best content, jokes, photos, or videos to become an exclusive Laugh Factory member and have your content shared on our website. The Weather Channel reported a winter storm crossed the nation Wednesday as blizzards buried the Midwest and hailstorms pounded the South. 69 and Robin Drive takes Diamond Valley residents by surprise, Need2Know: Bed Bath and Beyond announces beginning of closure process; Outdoor retailer REI Co-op to open Prescott store this fall; C&C Cyclery offers products and services to mountain bikers, Contents of this site are Copyright 2023 Prescott Newspapers, Inc. and Western News&Info, Inc. All rights reserved. The Hollywood Reporter said Sundays Grammy Awards on CBS drew very low ratings, with the post-show buzz centered on revulsion over a devil-worship number and Madonnas plastic surgery. Copyright 1979 - 2022. Laugh Factory Inc., 8001 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046. Commentary. The World Cup in the Persian Gulf kingdom of Qatar drew universal praise for the host country for how well the crowds behaved. He must have passed the physical. They handle millions of web visitors at a time. [1] [6] Biography Related Tags: Information on keynote speaking engagements, personal appearances, corporate entertainment and appearance fees for Argus Hamilton, an inspirational motivational speaker. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. By Argus Hamilton, January 18, 2014 Argus Hamilton on the News: Porn Hub Offers to Help Fix Obamacare Site. Madonna blamed ageism and sexism President Biden will deliver his State of the Union tonight before a joint session of the House and Senate gathered in the House Chamber in the U.S. Capitol. House Democrats pushed Biden's voting bill as a civil rights issue to try to kill voter ID laws Friday. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus says. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that." Fox News 92-year-old CEO Rupert Murdoch ordered Tucker Carlson fired, causing Fox stock to crash $980 million in value Monday, three days after he paid Dominion $787 million to settle a libel lawsuit. Hamilton: With all the potato chip flavors, who needs other foods. Oklahoma Speakers 2023. You will receive 5 new columns each week and 2 columns from the archives. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Hamilton: Buzz Aldrin gets married at 93; honeymooning at Viagra Falls? This Christmas, Kanye West will be going from house to house to make your drunk uncle seem OK. As we share our homes with relatives and loved ones, we are reminded of that first Christmas scene. The Washington Times reported that Medicare overpaid sixty-four million dollars for erection pumps which the federal program provides Read more, In the news: Duck Dynasty, crack-smoking mayor, lottery & more Duck Dynastys family patriarch Phil Robertson was put on hiatus by A&E Network after he compared homosexuality to Read more, Elton John, Mayor Rob Ford, the NSA & much more! Meet the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Welcome to part five of our annual look at the Year in Jokes. "What I would tell my fellow alcoholics and drug addicts is the biggest surprise I ever got is that recovery is more fun than partying. Fox News cited an intelligence report Thursday saying UFO sightings have surged in the past two years in the U.S. CNN, NBC and ABC reported there were 400 sightings of UFOs in the U.S. last week. All rights reserved. Prescott Interior Designs of Atlanta told Yahoo News people should change their toilet seats every five years. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Check out our current wonderful Sustaining Supporters here! Read more, Miley Cyrus, George Clooney, Obamacare and much more Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth reportedly broke up Monday due to her raunchy MTV Awards performance. Here's part four of our annual look at the Year in Jokes. Argus on Countdown with Keith Olbermann. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. FEATURES.
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