Kelly Corrigan:I mean, unless youre a monk, and youre meditating for 60 days in a mountain somewhere. Kate Bowler:Thanks so much for doing this. Kate Bowler:Well, I accept. But the fact is if I said, Tell me more, go on, what else, youd say the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and it would be like the thing behind the thing, behind the thing is where really the pain is, and if I had waited way longer, I wouldve been able to say, Oh, I understand.. Labels like chronic illness, or caregiver, or widow, or mom of a kid with special needs. She has been called the voice of her generation and the poet laureate of the ordinary, and she is the most perfect person to talk to to kick us off because her lovely new book is called Tell Me More, and Tell me more is one of those phrases she uses, phrases that she writes about that help guide her through relationships, and parenting, and grief. Kerri, Kelly Corrigan:So, she had to call someone and ask them to come over and zip her dress so she could go to the wedding. Im so thankful I could be a fly on the wall and listen in on your conversation. Follow Kate on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. He was saddled with depression and anxiety, which led to his trying to make himself feel better and reduce the noise in his head. This beautiful eulogy helps to paint the full picture of Ryland: a unique combination of funny, stubborn, difficult and smart. Make the magic happen. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on Apple Podcasts 296 episodes Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. Describing the middle school drama teacher as the first person who believed in her, she imparts her gratitude for him coming to her defense as a young student. I love your style and all your guests are fascinating to listen to with so much insight and knowledge. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. Kate Bowler:Yeah, I believe you. Im sorry to ask about the hard part, but would you mind telling me what happened? Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. I was wondering if you could tell me about that. Society & Culture English Each episode ends with a special Plus One segment, in which guests are invited to thank those that have supported them along their journey. Kelly Corrigan:My instinct is to fix, cause I feel Im almost sure I can. On days when I feel overwhelmed, I tell myself all I need to do is maintain the faith and exit with grace. 00:35:25 - Annie Jean Baptiste in the Head of Product Inclusion at Google where she spends her time thinking about the products we use very day and how who's a I went into this tiny bathroom in Baltimore in our office building, and just cried my eyes out, and it wasnt even because she died. You cant live in that. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Thats where its at. Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Join New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan as she choreographs big-ideas conversations and personal truth-telling with some of the creative thinkers and artists who define our time. Maybe Wills curious phrase, Its like this, applies here too. It just ends the tension because what youre saying is, I see it how you see it, and I agree with you. Id say that there is definitely such a thing as a questioning Christian. They reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider, because its like this, having a mind. So, thats just the question in front of all of us. Kelly has also agreed to be my friend as part of her contractual commitment to this podcast. Mary Anne, Mary Anne, Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. In fact Im in the middle of reading both of your books right now. Youre going to slide around, you know, youre going to deserve your life a little more some days than others. Warmly, I think thats cause we were always sort of fighting nearby. Phrases like I dont know, I was wrong, and one of my favorites, Its like this. Make the magic happen. For what Ive just seen in the last six months, I should be different. Im sorry I didnt go see your mom. Thats not the same as saying I was wrong not to try to know her. We should hold hands for a moment, as a way of marking the glory of a family dinner, and they do that. My mom called me maybe three months after my dad died. So, its funny that that phrase really begat the whole book in a way, because I had been feeling this shame about not really earning my days here, and then Ed and I were at dinner, and we were talking about the difference between saying Im sorry, and saying I was wrong, and I was saying, God, its so much more powerful though in the humility in saying I was wrong.. Even the words left unsaid. Many of you listen to Kelly Corrigan who WFS brought to Charlotte in October 2021. Gratefully, Kate Bowler:Thanks so much for doing this. I thoroughly enjoyed your podcast and listening to you both. P.S. Kate Bowler:Well, your book has such a wonderful collection of phrases around essays, stuff like Tell me more, and you write about incredible things people can say when theyre figuring out the road ahead. Michael Lewis on What Makes Some People Irreplaceable. Thats like total vanity but, especially with the kids, I definitely think, Edward and I both think, If you let us run this out for you, well get it done like one, two, three, and thats so humiliating, and degrading, and just the opposite of self-esteem building, which is sort of like the ground we walk on as adults. PBS is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization. Maya Shankar and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. But I asked the doctor what the right term for me might be, and he said Survivor-in-progress, which was super annoying. This forgetting, this slide into smallness, this irritability in shame, this disorienting grief Its like this. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by author Kelly Corrigan. Kate Bowler:You put in a strong argument, if I may say it like that, for just being close to one another. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. Kelly Corrigan:And how do we earn it? Kelly Corrigan sits down with Melinda French Gates. Despair defies description. Click here for discussion questions for this podcast episode. We can remove the first video in the list to add this one. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. Thats the word. Kelly Corrigan:Thats not a headline anybody wants to read. Their oldest, Aaron was killed in a car accident 20 summers ago, just after his freshman year in college. Kate, Each episode in Season 5 of "Tell Me More" will leave you hopeful and with a few more tools in your kit to craft the life you want. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by bestselling author Kelly Corrigan. I went to see her one time. Then the ocean with its waves so vast, impossible to touch bottom, then a maze, then a mountain, then seasons, a natural disaster. Take Care Kate, Thanks for sharing your personal motto. Your mantra is fantastic and is sounds like it has served you well through the years! Today, were sharing this letter which Mary Hope wrote to officially introduce Alex because we find the kindness, transparency and unconditional love in it to be so inspiring. She lives in Philly and I live in California. I was wrong not to try to ease her days in some way.. Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. Series 47: For the Love of Untraditional Traditions Series 46: For the Love of Feeding Your People Series 45: For the Love of Dating, Sex, and Relationships Series 44: Letters from MeCamp 2022 Series 43: For the Love of Conversations Series 42: For the Love of Our Favorite Pastimes Series 41: For the Love of Faith Shakers It is a good reminder for me that I can lean into what its like now because change is always acoming. Minds dont rest. Kate Bowler:Well I think part of it, and this gets to another phrase that you write about which is I dont know, but you and I, it sounds like, have given up on certainties as a way to cope with that, both having been through cancer, and also I think both realizing that people really dont like it when you say, I dont know.. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. Kelly Corrigan:Youre feeling like ABC, not DEF. So thats the beauty of it. Michael Lewis sends his thanks to Dr. Arthur White, a former history teacher at Isidore Newman School in New Orleans, Louisiana, for kicking him in class whenever hed fall asleep. To learn more about Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Things Im Learning to Say, click here. Maybe I dont have to be good, but I can try to be least a little better then Ive been so far., Riham:Our family motto is Allah Kareem. Whos going to do this? Kilpy Im like, Yeah, right. So, maybe when life is chronic, we all need some sayings to anchor us, our very own mottos that guide us through. Kelly shares her own go to mantra as well as two blessings from frequent Kelly Corrigan Wonders guest Kate Bowler and her co-author/friend/podcast producer Jessica Richies beautiful and extremely useful book: The Lives We Actually Have (100 Blessings for Imperfect Days). RELATED LINKS Try this episode's happiness practice: 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness Read Kelly Corrigan's new book, Tell Me More Transcript 5-Minute Listen. I do need to be reminded of this often There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Kelly and Kate Bowler dive into that phrase so often offered up to explain bad stuff: "everything happens for a reason." Kate is a divinity professor at Duke University and the bestselling author of three books. Dalai Lama XIV, Cheryl, Kelly reads everything from eulogies to retirement speeches and on February 19th, she . Kelly Corrigan:So, I say at the end of this chapter, Shouldnt loss change a person for the better? Okay, great. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. Her teams look to her for direction, but she wanted to see what would happen if she paused more to ask them questions, and found it totally changed her approach to both her work and family life. Kate Bowler:Theres this other phrase, I was wrong, that has real power, and you learned that in a really intense way when your grandma died. Thanks For Being Here Mary Hope's Letter Introducing Alex. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. Kate Bowler:Today, I get a chance to talk to Kelly about some of her very best phrases. Now, eleven years post-cancer, Im still learning to show up and be of use in my life, my marriage, my family and my work for the display of His splendor. She plans to give it to her daughter, who graduates from high school in June.. I found that instructive. Then the ocean with its waves so vast, impossible to touch bottom, then a maze, then a mountain, then seasons, a natural disaster. Dont worry, and she said, Well, my problem is I cant zip my dress by myself, so I thought if it was a woman, I could ask her to come in, and zip my dress, and I thought, Thats the tiny moments that are so gut-wrenching for a new widow. Jewel and Kelly Corrigan have a conversation in NYC. Kelly Corrigan. Gratefully, Kelly Corrigan:And he said, Thats a way to be a parent, which is to say to be there, to be available, to be within view, but not necessarily inserting yourself, because even though as your kids get older and older, it feels like theyre looking for you less and less, it is sort of a comfort to glance over, and see you there, and feel you there, and they would most certainly notice if you werent. Kelly Corrigan:I never came up with any combination that came close to the feeling. She has a beloved podcast called Everything Happens. Kate Bowler:My life doesnt exactly fit into neat categories anymore. I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Now a cognitive scientist and podcaster, Maya grew up immersed in the . This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Kate Bowler:Todays episode is brought to you by our partners, North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, the Lilly Endowment, The Issachar Fund, The John Templeton Foundation, Faith and Leadership: An Online Learning Resource, and Duke Divinity School, and of course, Beverly Abel, Jessica Richie, and Be the Change Revolutions. I think earn is such a good word, because youre talking about such a complicated math. Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:Like, almost every time Im sure that if you just let me take over, I can make this problem go away. I mean, I remember thinking, when I wasnt sure, when I was in an especially tough moment of illness, every time I would look at Zachs nails I would think, Is this what wouldve happened if I hadnt been here to do this? Touching on themes like self-belief, resilience, humility, and justice, this series normalizes the human condition and emphasizes our capacity to grow. If you haven't heard of Father Greg Boyle, let us introduce you: a Jesuit priest who has a touch of Santa Claus in his affect, Greg Boyle has collaborated with thousands of former gang members to build thriving businesses and communities of radical acceptance in East LA. Maybe I dont have to be good, but I can try to be least a little better then Ive been so far., Riham:Our family motto is Allah Kareem. Kate Bowler:Yeah. You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. In, warm, insightful, often funny conversations, Kate talks with people about what they've. But the fact is if I said, Tell me more, go on, what else, youd say the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and it would be like the thing behind the thing, behind the thing is where really the pain is, and if I had waited way longer, I wouldve been able to say, Oh, I understand..
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